Saturday, January 23, 2016

Happy New Year 2016 & summary of 2015

We ended 2015 in the best way with beautiful snowy winter weather with friends visiting us from Prague. Nice walks, great company and good wines. Me and Mila made our premier cantered on Soda on snowy field this cold sunny day the last day of the year.

How I summaries the year of 2015:
2015 was and interesting year and difficult in many ways and also full-filling in other ways. After Russian winter down-town Moscow we came to Sweden in spring to wait for our new team member to arrive. We made Lundsätter the base that we wanted. Building second floor and creating home. Found new friends and enjoying having family around.
After cold and hard winter and a pretty over all lost feeling after leaving Prague came Filip our big bright Mr Sunshine. He is born with a smile and it is amazing how we all can learn so much from such small baby. He has a positive approach to everything apart from when he is very tired. His smile is catching and he can even make the grumpiest old pensioner smile that by the looks of it had not managed to smile since the last century. He is a real charmer and has brought as all so much happy positive feelings. I will do everything I possibly can to make sure he keeps smiling and keep us smiling, 

2015 with a summer that never really came and pretty hard times that we spend so much time apart as Loren worked in Moscow and me and kids staying in Sweden. "What doesn't kill you make you stronger" and yes we feel less lost and much stronger as a team then ever.

Mila has had a good year with finding great friends that she is playing fun creative games (running around with her stick horses for hours just like her mamma) by themselves and just coming down to get served pancakes or Swedish cinnamon buns. She is the thinking miss Einstein of our team and are now mastering both languages no problem. She has developed a strong passion for horses and is the cutest and bravest little rider ( I wonder who has influenced her...) she knows everything about Frozen and wants to be called Elsa instead of Mila and to wear glittery dresses and long capes. Strong love for her pappa and missing him a lot when he has been away working. Knows more song lyrics then myself. She has grown into a strong and sensitive girl who knows what she likes and what she wants. It is a pleasure to be with her and she is such great help with her little brother.

I have taken multitasking to an even higher level to master one small baby a three year old and driving a building project on the house as well as growing fresh vegetables in the garden and building painting and sewing new creative ideas night time. I have managed to buy two new strollers and can soon open a museum of all my strollers. I have also taken my packing skills to super high level, how I can manage to fit my family with stroller bags and everything in my "snezka" Citroen C3 is even for me surprising and a sport every time.

During 2015 I found a much calmer approached to life, enjoying and feeling fortunate being able to be home with the kids this short time while they are small. Before I used to feel stressed that I should get back to work doing carrier the sooner the better mostly because of the influence of the Swedish norm and its general idea of what equality is. That being mother and choosing and even enjoying staying at home more then a year is nothing but a trap for women. Reading Swedish mama magazines was making me even more stressed and making me doubt our active decision of how we want our life to look. Doubting that I could no longer call myself a strong woman with observance of equality. What changed and made me feel an even stronger woman proud of our decision instead of apologizing for it, I don't really know but maybe it was when Mila started kindergarten for a short while. It was not in anyway a bad experience the teachers were very nice and sweet etc but I realized there that Mila doesn't need kindergarten for her development and well-being. We have such active fun days that I believe she is learning more with me home living life then being put in daycare and I enjoying being with her. Also talking to my aunt and a friend who both work as teachers in kindergarten they confirmed that my gut feeling were right that small children doesn't need kindergarten or that it offers more then what I got to offer as a parent.
Me and Loren has actively decided how we want our life to look while the kids are small and have therefore made arrangements accordingly. I don't feel at all trapped or that I as a woman will regret this decision in the future. I have great experienced from living and working around the world, a master degree in business and most important great creativity and ideas. I also have many many years still to work that I can "afford" not to for a few years. I am not scared that I will not managed to make myself successful in the way I want to be successful. I am now taking the chance to develop my creative interests with illustrating and sewing with more exposure and positive feed back then I could every dream about. If I can be able to take it to a higher level we will see. Learning and living in a different society and culture is hard and very fulfilling in the same time and I am sure that the experience I am collecting I can make use of all my life. Do I need to add that it feels great to have come to this acceptance of my way of living and not letting norms making me doubt myself.

I am happy that the kids had a chance to spend so much great time with their grandparents and really building a relationship which has been hard before with us living abroad. Having Lundsätter makes us closer and I can also collect family like I did for Milas birthday. It was a great decision to make this our home base a solid base which will always stay and feel like home for all of us ( well apart from all my crazy developing ideas)

December I got back on a horse and I am hoping to get fitter and be able to do more riding during 2016. Yes I said get into shape indeed as most important for 2016 is to stay healthy and happy. 

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