I started working at a new school in August. I now work at a smaller senior high school with focus on IT, computer science and technical subject. I teach entrepreneurship and English. It is a whole new world I am entering a world full of computer nerds. I love it - they have a special passion for technology which I will never understand but a interest I fully respect.  I have already learned new IT terminology, about fiber installations, programming and gaming. Learned that computer nerds really drinks a lot of energy drinks, talks about LAN and how they build their own computers. This school is a school where many of the students finally finds school a great place to be and not a harsh environment without understanding. A school where they can learn more about their biggest interest of IT and computers, where the classmates shares the same interest and passion and are friendly to each other. It is great to see and to hear how these young people finally want to go to school and ha...

It is pity that I have not taken time to write here on the blog. I love having a place where I can write and have my illustrations collected and where I feel that I want update things. Collect memories and thoughts from this moment of life. Also to really force myself to sit down and put pen to paper. Writing is something you have to keep practice to find that nice flow and feeling to catch the reader and make the reader understand you thought, feeling or instruction. This year I am working as a English and Entrepreneur teacher and I am very much inspired as I am giving my students a lot texts and different type of texts to write. At the same time it has been a rather hectic past few months and that's why I havn't got around to write. We have bought a townhouse and moved to Örebro beginning of August. Kids changing kindergarten and me changing job, has gone pretty well although always hard to change routines. Moving the horse and learning the new stable routines and trying t...

 I was planning to make a family portrait of good friends of ours who are celebrating their 40's birthday. So the other night I started a skiss of the family and their farm and animals. Always easier when I know the family to get the right elements and objects in the illustration, but also a little nervous to make sure I do them justice. And even more nervous will they like my illustration. This is how the drawing started with a glas of rosé And the following morning I got great company of Mila who also wanted to draw and paint with me while rest of Team Nikolovski was out biking This is the final version of the family at Fyrö Gård And framed ready to for party and to be handed over And here it is hung in their great big barn where they had organized great party 

During my trip earlier this year to Prague I bought some new fabrics at the fabric shop which I use to buy from while living in Prague. Although funny enough when I lived in Prague I mainly bought fabrics from Sweden and now when living in Sweden I found lots of great fabrics in Prague which I brought back with me to Sweden. I was super excited to make some new funky hats after the trip, this was in April.... But some how the time has not been enough for everything I want to do and have to do. But with me now having summer vacation I am finally getting time to restart my creative projects which has been sleeping for some time. I love that feeling of creating things again, gives such great satisfaction, and makes me start to dream again that maybe maybe I should focus more on my own business. I made a few hats tonight which I had already cut out in some fabrics and when I want to cut more, I could not for my life find my pattern... I hate when I clean away things I need to places wher...

It was only like 2 weeks ago I made this illustration of myself and only 2 posts ago. My feeling of not feeling of doing nothing in the kitchen. "You used to like to bake and to bake with Mila" Loren reminded And I just felt tired and uahhhhh  But guess what after only 14 days of summer holiday I created these cinnamon buns

It has become a midsummer tradition to make a Midsummer illustration, nearly just as important as the other Swedish midsummer traditions with herring, maypole and drinking aquavit. My mother and her husband are masters in midsummer celebration and are very generous and inviting as many members of the family that fits in their summer house, Lugnet. Team Nikolovski we have attended ever Midsummer at Lugnet since 2013 and are very happy to have this family tradition. This years illustration is in working progress and I will explain more the story behind the drawing when I am done. This is how it looks so far...

Ohh my God this school year went so fast. It feels like yesterday I entered that school building for the first time with the title teacher. Such great year, so much work, so much fun, so many great young people who are fun, lost and pretty lazy. Who are spending more time playing games or watching series on their computers then on their schoolwork. I had no idea what this year would be like when I started. If I would mange to gain respect and to teach these young people anything. A totally new role for me in a well known environment. Now looking back at my first year teaching at high school level I have really learned a lot and it has not been one boring day at work. Through given these youngsters respect and given them support I have got nothing but respect back. It was an emotional last two weeks, wrapping things up and going through results and setting grades. And to say bye bye to great colleges and crazy mentor kids which I have grown very found of. I was exhausted by the end of ...

I made an illustration the other day, an illustration on a theme which I am sure I have already done several illustrations before... How as soon as I enter the bathroom especially if I am even thinking to close or heaven forbid to lock the door I am the most wanted person on the whole planet or at least in the house. Kids can play or hang out with the other parent in the house or with their granddad but as soon as I enter the toilet they are running pulling the door wide open and looking very offended that I did not invite them to join me going to the toilet. If I ask them to please at least close the door behind them they are questioning why they need to close the door. If I ask them can you please please leave, I get back "But we want to be with you!!" Yes I have got use to this and don't really have an issue with audience in the bathroom more then I find this behavior extremely odd and wondering when they will stop and not find me on the toilet so interestin...

Now when I am back in the stable. Being horse-owner. Spending the little time I have spared to hang with my horse, I have started to draw horses again. Ok yes maybe even during my none horsey years I did draw or paint horses here and there but definatly much more often now. Or actually I have less time drawing all together and most days I think about scenarios I want to draw and to write in the blog and then I put the kids to bed and it has taken forever lately... Filip has real issues growing teeth and it is a nightmare every time a new is approaching. And on top of teething he has also had a nasty cold with even nastier ulsors on hand, foot and mouth and now a new cold again. And Mila was going through a tough development/grown spurt and also having issues to fall a sleep. And even when the kids are falling asleep as they should I also fall asleep and when I wake up I am either in a terrible terrible mood or need to do school work or are just to lazy and sitting surfing wasting my...

A bit late update.. Team Nikolovski has had a great weekend with a lot of birthday celebrations for our little Mr Sunshine who turned 2 years old. 2 years old and such a great little character and really our bright mr sunshine. Sometimes we wonder how it is even possible that we managed to get such happy kid with the most catching smile. He is strong willed little boy with a mind of his own. His Santa pyjamas on this picture is hard to ask him to take off and drama when it needs to be washed. "Aaaa" he calls it and gets very angry that he can't have aaaa all day every day. Is interest is driving around on the bobby car or pushing little stroller around filled up with his tools. Shoes is another interest of his. He likes walking around in my, Lorens or Milas shoes and sometimes different sizes and shapes of shoes at the same time. At the moment he climbs everything. Pushing chairs around and climbing up on kitchen top or tables. Eating sitting on top of the table otherwi...

Easter has come and gone. I love Easter decorations it is colorful and fun. I found some of my decorations this year but not all as I am organizing storage and boxes after all the building projects.   We made kind of traditional Swedish Easter smörgåsbord last Saturday. It was Team Nikolovski, my dad and my uncle. Treasure hunt for the Easter egg the Easter bunny had left of course. It was a snowy Easter - yes really real snow and lots of it... Looked more like Christmas then what you expect for April. I have had Easter holiday all last week and me and the kids went to Prague. Great trip and I will write all about it in next post.

 So many different characters, situations and places I found going through illustrations I have made

Filip is one funny little guy with a lot of own ideas and interests. At the moment he is crazy about shoes. Or maybe it is more the feeling and proudness of being able to put on shoes by himself. He is testing all family members shoes and walking around in the house in them. Very impressive how he can manage to walk and run in way too big shoes. Less impressing that he is dragging mud and dirt around the house.

Working as a teacher in high school is challenging, fun and very rewarding. Teenagers are confused, lazy and pretty funny. One situation I come across every week is chairs up chairs down. While cleaning the floors cleaning personell lifts the chairs up on the desks in the classrooms and when I start the lesson I need to lift chairs down. Well technically I would think that I should not be the one having to lift the chairs down ( Yes of course if I am the first one in the classroom but I am not) But my students comes in to the classroom lifts down ONE chair = THE chair they are aiming to sit on. It doesn't seems to bother them at all that they are sitting like in a jungle of chairs. They can not see the white-board, not each other and I can hardly see them behind the wall of chairs. When I start to lift the chairs down they are not feeling uncomfortable standing up to help ( only one student helped me on his free own will so far) I am walking around giggling to myself as they loo...

Here is a wintery illustration from my illustrated journal. It was a sunny winter crisp day. New white fluffy snow on the ground and on the trees. Great weather to enjoy a walk and pulling the kids in the sledge. The mood was on top. I was holding my head up high in that silly way to really extra enjoy these most wanted sun rays. I walk to the mailbox and then continued and was thinking how wonderful that we can go for a nice fun walk and all in great mood. Kids were singing, smiling and enjoying. Lets walk little longer today as all is really enjoying. Bad decision... From one minute to the next the good mood changed for bad mood. BAD MOOD! Both throwing themselves out of the sledge screaming and complaining about something and nothing. Refusing to stand up. Refusing to go home. Refusing to cooperate. Being unreasonable. At the same time Bozze dog running to chase the neighbor and me screaming like a mad woman without any result what so ever. Feeling stupid negotiating with a withou...

Tomorrow we have a theme day for all the teachers at my school with focus on health. Lectures about impact of what we eat, mindfulness and training. We could pick between walk, swimming, yoga and tabata. I picked tabata. I was the only one who picked tabata. I want to get sweaty I said  And agreed to have a private lesson in this high impact type of exercise with our Swedish teacher who is the rather typical Swedish teacher style of teacher = hard but fair. What have I sign myself up for? I am in the same great shape as this illustration I made 4 years ago = not very fit = not fit all. I hope tomorrow she will be more fair then hard on me and my poor unfit body. Wish me good luck. On the body theme Mila told me this morning "mamma girls doesn't have hairy legs! Girls has prickly legs!" ("mamma tjejer har ju inte håriga ben! tjejer har taggar på benen!" )

I came home late today after a long day at work. Tuesdays are my longest day and today we had conference about my rather rowdy class. Exhausted walking through the door my kids comes running to greet me with big hugs. " I have a surprise for you!" Mila shouts. How nice and sweet. Until I found the whole house full of confetti made out of a toilet roll. The granddad is sleeping in the armchair and my creative kids has made this surprise to me. "Do you like it?" Mila asks excited "No not really" such ungrateful mother not appreciating teared up toilet paper high and low.

I have a weakness or maybe I better say one of my weaknesses is Cheese doodles. I love these tasty but very smell snack that we in Sweden call ostbåge. Yesterday we celebrated the cheese doodle day ( I don't know since when the snack has it's own day but I don't complain...) I made this celebration illustration yesterday evening and as I was too busy to stuff myself I didn't have time to color it... 

Oh My God how many wallpapers is their to chose between ?! No I don't have the interest or energy to go through all and I get into a give up I can't pick at all kind of mood pretty easily. So I have a plan. My plan is grey and white stripes. Stripes makes the room look taller and grey is neutral enough. Same brand as in the other room same stripes just a different tone. Great plan. And so I head to the store and all the colorful funky patterns are waving at me. I am trying to keep focus. Looking for grey! Looking for stripes! Looking for same brand as before! Writing down the numbers of the grey stripes and then I just can't resist a funky pattern next to me. I managed to sell in the concept pretty easy at home that we will have one funky wall that will stand out and I call it a "fuck you wall". A wall that is not grey or white or boring in anyway. A wall that maybe will be too crazy or that we will get bored of real quick but who cares. And I don't care ab...

I was watching this midmorning program on TV the other day and it was a boy on the show only 12 years old but really professional in making great aquarell paintings. I got inspired and thought I would like to paint dramatic serious aquarells. And so I took my watercolors ( which I btw has to go through and update I am missing a lot of crucial colors...) and a fancy watercolor paper  and started painting. But no this is not my element of expression so I added myself in a comic way and got pretty satisfied anyways with the painting. 

Conversation at the dinner table about attractions of Africa. Mila asked me what we can see if we go to Africa.

Now please let Winter be over for this year! I am Tired of the frozen outdoor arena. Sick of icy road, studs and snow soles. AND frozen water buckets.  Please give me mud and more mud and I promise not to complain. Give me a soft outdoor arena where I can jump and get me and Qina fit ( fitter at least..) I am even daydreaming about how we are going to fly over fences like some horse cray teenager. 

In Sweden February has changed name to Vaburari. VAB is short for vård av sjukt barn which in English means "home taking care of sick kid" and statistically February is the month where most people claim VAB from our state insurance. And this year Team Nikolovski bumped up the statistic. I think we have been nothing but ill this month. I am sick of it. I feel like I havn't been to work in ages. This last week has dragged like no week before.  Or actually today I am celebrating drinking Champagne because today is the fist day without fever or higher temperature in Nikolovski household in 9 DAYS!!! Ohhh my God I never thought fever could last this long!! First Filip and after Mila and then my dad. I am drinking the whole bottle fast by myself celebrating and pushing away the unpleasant feeling that I am now feeling that I am maybe getting a sore throat !! 

My husband thinks I am crazy when I say I need to spend time in the stable to recollect energy. I understand him when I take a step back and look at my stable life and how it is to have a horse as a hobby I can full see how crazy it must sound in a none horsey persons ear. I go to the stable where I am mocking, making the bed, preparing food, change rugs, carry water etc etc etc and this I call my own time a break from taking care of the kids..... And I go and take care of a 500 kg animal instead and call this relaxation... It sounds crazy but it is good for the soul and I am happy my husband might never fully understand it but accept it and helps me so I can have Qina. For me to just be in the stable and to all things a horse owner has to do and to get to ride a few times per week is where I collect all the extra energy I need. 

Drove home from work the other day (the only day I worked this week...) and got so happy that it was not pitch dark at 16.30!!!! Happiness !! The winter darkness in Scandinavia is a killer.... 

Lundsätter buildning project number 155 at least.. Isolating and making second floor on top of my dad livable  We have had builders here for nearly 4 weeks now = it will be very expensive but hopefully very good... Just hope it will be useful and worth the kronors put in to it. I am already starting to think about wallpapers and colors. Grey or stripy white and grey that is the question. 

One kid ill with stinky stinky nasty cold. Even had to pay a visit to emergency ward yesterday because breathing was getting heavier and heavier. That kid wants mammas full attention around the clock. The other kid in the household also want mammas full attention also around the clock. That kid is also bored and has NOTHING to do apart from watch the movie Pets and maybe play with dinosaurs for like maximum 10 minutes. The dad is away visiting his family. And the mamma = ME is going nuts here at home.. Gahhhh sick kids is a nightmare. I know poor them!! But also poor me!! This is first minutes in the past few days I am sitting down by myself. I quickly poured myself a glas of red wine and tried to be creative and make a new banner for the blog. Not very successful but I thought the old one was like 100 years old.

This is an illustration from my illustrated journal. I started the illustration in November when my workplace, senior high school in a middle-sized Swedish town, felt more like the wild wild west. I got around to sit in the sofa and color it last night. The story and inspiration to this illustration is a rather crazy period at work. I have in short time as a teacher experienced things that I didn't even think teachers had to deal with. Bitch slaps, incident rapports, expelled students, anxciety, social problems and kid waiting to get deported from Sweden after longtime here. What was bad language when I was a teenager is today not even considered as swearing. Words, phrases and sentences that I and many with me would never dream of thinking never mind saying out load is what teens of today ( of course not all but my students does) call each other and shouts in the corridor.  That every student get their own computer through school is great but also the computer has a lot of ...

Time flies too fast. Our little baby just turned 4 years old, F O U R Y E A R!!! How that happened ?! It is crazy what a big girl she is now. So sweet, funny, extra super intelligent, bad mood when tired, creative and the bestest girl in the whole world. Me and L agreed the other day that she gives us more love then we can ever ask for. She tells us how much she loves us like 100 times each day in both Swedish and English. In the morning, in the car, in the busy super market cue, mocking out the stable, on the walk, when I leave her at daycare and when I pick her up she looks at me and with the sweetest voice she says "Mamma! Jag älskar dig!!" Please let her continue feeling that love for us forever and please please keep telling us it sounds so sweet and heartwarming. Yes of course she also tells me sometimes that I am stupid and "a bajskorv" ( a turd)  but not as often as she tells me how great I am and the best mamma in the world. It is overwhelming how much...

Happy New Year 2017 !!  Good health and happiness is what I am wishing for Also some of my humble expectations for 2017 Good fun, continue my teaching job, house in Örebro, lots of fun with the team, trip to Prague, trip to anywhere to enjoy more pulse then country life and good times and development with the horse.  I will quote Mr Nikolovski "Thank you and Fuck you 2016"   My year was not all that bad I have to say but I do understand where he is coming from. The hard part was that the team was so much apart. Though for L to travel back and forth to Moscow could never really relax always thinking that soon he has to leave. Hard for me and the kids to wave bye bye and to manage by ourselves and missing each other. Moscow was not a city for us, a good experience and good memories and friends of course but also a lot of anxciety not feeling home not managing to adapt 100 %. It was a relief that we made the decision that me and kids will head home to Sweden and...